Da Boys

Da Boys
Eating Old Fashioned Candy on the Banks of the Mississippi

A blog about the poetic adventures of two curly haired and boys...and Autism.

This blog was started after many friends told me I should keep a journal of my daily activities with my two sons. Our days are usually filled with fun details, sometimes some sad ones but when you have a child diagnosed with Autism.....there is always Adventure!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

How.....do I tell him?

In the whirlwind that follows the diagnosis of Autism,
Much occurs.
Time passes quickly.
There is little time to breathe,
Even less time to live.

In the sea of appointments,
On the other side of the revolving door of therapists,
One little boy stands alone,
Wondering why all this attention is directed toward his brother.

He stands...
Not understanding why these ladies are not here to see him,
When he talks.
He performs.
He socializes.

How do I tell this child?
What do I say?
Autism...a hollow word to a five year old.

"Why", he asks. "Why can't I talk with the ladies."
My heart breaks for him.
He lives for communication.
He craves conversation.
He devours attention.

"My, Gio," I say cupping his beautiful face my hands.
In a split second, as if all time has stopped,
I ask God for clarity on what to tell his child.
He hears my request and swiftly gives me the gift.

"My, Gio. The ladies are here to help your brother," I try to explain.

"Why?" he begs, "Why aren't they here to see me?"

"Your brother cannot talk and play like you. They are here to help him."

Tears well up in his soulful brown eyes.
"Oh, no!", he cries, "What's wrong with Alessandro?"

The wisdom I prayed for floods out from my mouth supernaturally,
Overriding the torrent of emotions that I want to let loose
When I see my baby boy cry.

"You know, what happens when your trains tracks are not set up right?", I ask.

He looks at me with a mixture of delight because I am talking about his favorite subject and confusion because he really doesn't know how this applies to this conversation.

"Yes." he says waiting for me to explain my reasoning.

"In your brain, " I tell him," You have little tracks, just like your train tracks and all your messages follow these little tracks."

He smiles and follows my thought.

"Your brother....", I pause," ....well....your brother's messages are not on track. The tracks are broken and the ladies are here to fix them. They know how to fix his tracks and even though they like you...when they come to see us, it's their job to help your brother get his messages back on track...just like when you fix your train tracks. So they cannot spend all their time talking to you."

He begins to draw a similarity to a Thomas the Tank Engine story.
"Yes," I say smiling, "Just like that."
"And someday when his tracks are all fixed,
He will be able to talk with and play with you."

He happily accepts this explanation. From this day forward
He will tell everyone he meets about the ladies that come to his house
That help get his brother's messages on track.

He knows the language of trains.
He knows his brother is getting help
at the tender age of five,
He knows what Autism is...without ever having to mention the name.


  1. Wow,I cried tears that speak for me.Love to you and your boys.May you all continue to learn and grow as this amazing adventure unfolds.Light and Love to you

  2. That is so Wonderful and Amazing Sonseeahreay! Brought a Tear to my Eye. =)You are an Inspiration on all Levels. ♥♡♥

  3. Brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. Da Boys are lucky with a Mom like you Sonny. I admire your patience and your never ending endeavour to get your youngest all the help he needs.
    One day your efforts will be rewarded in the way you dream of - I'm sure of that.


  4. This is so beautiful...made me well up! They are so lucky to have you as their Mom.

  5. I have no words really, just tears for your sweet boy's heart and understanding.

  6. Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response and love to this post. I hope you know how much it is appreciated.

  7. ((((Sonny)))) I am so in awe of you...the way you explained this to a little one. When you said how do I explain this to a 5 year old, I too thought, how does one explain. But you spoke so well. Sending much love to you, and your beautiful sons! (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) I don't have enough words to tell you how awesome I think you are.